City Council woefully unprepared for Zombie attack.


A worried member of the public has forced Leicester City Council to admit it is unprepared for a zombie invasion.

The authority received a Freedom of Information request which said provisions to deal with an attack, often seen in horror films, were poor. The “concerned citizen” said the possibility of such an event was one that councils should be aware of.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you’re concerned about having your flesh rent from your bones, you need to invest in your own good quality shovel. I favour aluminium – you’d be surprised how heavy steel shovels can get from constant swinging at zombie’s heads.

More on the BBC website.

** UPDATE **

It looks like the Midlands is lagging behind the South-West of the country. Unlike Leicester, it appears that Bristol City Council has fully developed zombie plans:

‘Intelligence’ gained from a source that has been kept secret on national security grounds suggests that Whitchurch Park, Shirehampton, and Totterdown have an “enhanced zombie prevalence”, according to the document. Stokes Croft, meanwhile, has special undercover investigations going on.

The document goes on to say that special codewords have been issued to council staff to look out for on TV and radio in case of zombie attack. The codewords have been created to avoid general panic and alert staff to go to their designated emergency positions.

Elsewhere, the plan includes:

  • Advice on best practice for killing zombies;
  • Reference to an area of the staff intranet where appropriate equipment can be found;
  • Annual training schedules for staff;

There is, finally, a note warning that “due to urgent operational considerations, it is acceptable to suspend some elements of normal best practice in customer service standards when dealing with a zombie outbreak”.

I’m hoping my aluminium shovel advice is ratified in Bristol’s best practice guidance.


About djpaterson

Reader, Writer, Arithmeticer. Not always in that order.
This entry was posted in Weird and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to City Council woefully unprepared for Zombie attack.

  1. Charlie S says:

    I would have thought the ‘member of public’ would have more to worry about than his council not being prepared for zombies! Funny story tho.

  2. Pingback: Self-Defence Lesson One – Don’t tell everyone you’re defenceless | djpaterson

  3. Pingback: Halloween Footprints | djpaterson

Look, if you've taken the time to read this, you may as well let me know by leaving a comment. Go on, you know you want to.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s