Opening Paragraph

I’ve joined a writing group, my first ever. And it’s great fun, with some very talented members. We’re three meetings in and homework for week one was to write an opening paragraph, with the all important hook. I composed mine on the drive home. See what you think:

Craig hesitated at the edge of the road, busy even at this early hour. The sound of seagulls cartwheeling and squawking overhead caught his attention, and he smiled. He was home. He spotted a gap in the traffic and darted across, stopping in front of a scruffy blue door. He glanced down at the key cradled in his hand and wondered if, after four years, he still had the right to use it.  Well, following his brother’s garbled phone message and the ten thousand mile journey that had brought him back, he saw no point in delaying things further. He pushed the key into the lock, listening to each tumbler pin click, and turned it. The door swung inwards. The stench of death accompanied by the buzz of a thousand flies, angry at being disturbed mid-feast, confused his senses. But only for a moment. He gagged, spun around, and threw-up the fast food breakfast in a bun he’d eaten less than half an hour earlier. His first thought was borne of shock and he knew he’d forever associate it with that moment. That shit didn’t taste much worse the second time ‘round. 

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About djpaterson

Reader, Writer, Arithmeticer. Not always in that order.
This entry was posted in Grammar, Writers, Writing and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Opening Paragraph

  1. Kit says:

    Looks great? Are you going to turn this into a story?

  2. Michael Gray says:

    I love it!

    I’m trying to turn my character piece into a short story, but it doesn’t have any momentum. There’s something to be said about starting with a hook!

    • djpaterson says:

      Thanks, Michael. I’ve heard the ‘hook’ advice from a number people (and books) and I really think that the opener is key. I was pleased with this one, but there have been plenty of times I’ve gone back and read something I’ve written and it’s not been anywhere near as good as I’d originally thought.

  3. david bcyk says:

    you may consider doing away with the first four sentences and starting like; Craig glanced down at the key cradled in his hand and wondered if, after four years, he still had the right to use it.

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